Late At Night
by xXAngel ShadowXx
Summary: Another Egoist fanfic, since I just love this couple. Basically just a reflection from Hiroki's point of view on him and Nowaki's relationship.Super fluffy plz review!
1. Chapter 1

Another Junjou fic...KYAAAAAAHHHH EGOIST! YAY! XD  
*ahem* sorries... just another fanfic with HirokiXNowak from Junjou Romantica. Enjoy!

PS. BEST. SHOW. EVER!

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Hiroki's only company when he got home that night from a long day at the University, were the gentle chirps of crickets outside in the early summer twilight, as well as the occassional car speeding swiftly past their apartment. That dumbass Nowaki hadn't come back yet. Hiroki sighed deeply, taking off his hat and light jacket, and tossing them carelessly on the couch. 

"Baka Nowaki...you could have told me this morning if you were coming home late...or called me at work..." Stupid Nowaki, he was always like that, all happy and smiles, (and on occasion an annoying pervert...) but at heart he was a total scatterbrain, and had a tendency those days of being careless about certain things, which never failed to test Hiroki's last nerve. 

"Working late again...hes been busy these days..." Hiroki thought, then he suddenly noticed with a start the uncleared breakfast dishes still left on the kitchen table...Nowaki had made breakfast that morning, but he was in such a hurry he apparently didn't feel obliged to clean up. 

"Guess I better do it now..." Hiroki mumbled, slightly annoyed as he carried the small pile of dishes and silverware to the kitchen sink, turned on the faucet, and began heading slowly back to retrieve the juice glasses. Lost in his thoughts, he wasn't paying enough attention and his grip suddenly loosened on on of those glasses and it shattered with sharp pangs of sound on the hard tile floor. 

"Dammit!" Hiroki shouted, swiftly knocked out of his thoughts. From above, he could see the pale light of the moon sifting threw the slats in the shades, and gently illuminating the individual fragments of glass at this feet. Oddly, it was rather pretty sight, but as Hiroki bent down, cursing softly under his breath in frustration to pick up the broken glass, he cried out in a sudden, sharp burst of pain and jumped back, staring at his hand. 

In his haste to clear up the mess, he had picked up one of the glass shards from the wrong end and badly cut his finger. The chill air of the kitchen stung the cut as blood oozed out and ran down the length of his finger. The sharp stinging pain elapsed into a pulsing rythmn of pain. Grimacing, Hiroki stood up on shaky legs and stumbled forward, trying to find a tissue to press on his hand to stop the blood flow. 

"God, that hurt..."Hiroki grumbled, annoyed once more at this inconvienience, as he pressed a soft white cloth to his hand. "If Nowaki had cleared those damn dishes, this might not have happened...and now I'm out one good breakfast glass now! Damn!" 

After clearing away the glass with a dustpan and brush, and cleaning the rest of the dishes, Hiroki showered, undressed and buried himself underneath cool, welcoming linen sheets, with one more deep sigh. The pain in his finger had numbed and stiffened, and once more he closed his eyes, and let himself think. He liked to do that when he was alone. 

It was late. How late he wasn't sure, but the sun had long past settled beneath the city, disappearing only to be replaced by the moon, which hung, an incandescent orb amongst the silver pinpricks of stars. The familiar night scenery hung outside his bedroom window, and Hiroki could;nt help but let his thoughts once more return to Nowaki. 

The glowing red neon of Hiroki's alarm clock red 12:30. Hiroki's eyes narrowed. Where the hell was Nowaki? He never stayed out this late, even when he worked overtime...who the hell did those assholes think they were, keeping Nowaki away for so long?  
Once he'd voiced this thought inside his mind, Hiroki stiffened. "What the hell...what was that alll about..." He sighed once more. "I think I really am losing it." Despite this explanation, Hiroki could'nt deny what he felt. For some reason he now longed to see Nowaki, even more than usual when he was away. 

"I wonder...wha hes doing right now...maybe thinking about me...right now..." Hiroki wondered...but then stopped himself. "Wh-why the hell am I thinking about THAT?"  
Hiroki leaned forward in bed, was still, not even blinking. Then, he leaned his head forward to rest in his large calloused hands. 

"I think I'm becoming...somewhat of a romantic..." 

Trying to deviate his attention from Nowaki, he focused on sucking on his finger, which still oozed a small trickle of blood. The blood tasted salty and warm, and as he turned on his side towards his bedside lamp, he let the calm silence of the night fill him up.  
Nowaki was probably working hard, as he rested in bed, working with the sick children over at the local hospital, and slowly working towards a degree in medicine, and a job as a full-time peditrician...he'd come such a long way since they'd first met six years ago, years that had past in a long string of emotions. Happiness, passion, lust, frustration, anger, sadness, and love. Yes love. Perhaps love most of all. Love that filled him up, tore him apart, and left any resistance useless. Tears had been shed. He'd been half torn apart by emotions...but in the end, it all stemmed from love. 

And Hiroki knew, more than anything, that one of the reasons Nowaki had come so far, was because of him. He was Nowaki's constant source of stamina; the thing that always kept him driving forward, in an everpresent effort to becoming "equal" He always tried so hard, and he always felt he wasn't good enough... 

"Not that he ever asked my opinion on the matter..."Hiroki grumbled to himself, letting these thoughts sink in more than he'd intended. "He just assumes he's not good enough for me...hes so invested in himself...sometimes I wonder if its got anything to do with me at all. 

"Maybe he's just an Egoist. 

One thing thought, for sure, "He added, his voice softening as he spoke. "He truly is an idiot. Nothing he does will ever be good enough for him. If he jumped off a bridge to save my life he'd probably still think it wasn;t good enough... 

"But then again," Hiroki muttered, staring at his bedside lamp and letting the light sink into his corneas. "I guess I'm not too much of a comfort to him." The self guilt hidden in this statement sunk into Hiroki, as he reflected on the way he would yell and scream at Nowaki half the time, whenever he did something wrong, and often on the days they barely had time to speak to each other at all. An odd twinge resonated in his stomach as he thought this, and he sunk deeper into his bed. Then, a sudden thought tugged at his mind: when was the last time he'd told Nowaki he loved him? 

...

End of first chapter


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2! YAY! ^_^

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"When was the last time I told Nowaki I-I loved him?" 

In the silence of the room, the question resonated all the more deeply within Kamijou Hiroki, and as the cho of this question began to fade, he felt a peculiar twinge in his chest, as though his heart...ached. 

He never let his guard down, it seemed. Around Nowaki, he always acted mature, and as calm and composed as he could attempt to be on that particular day. He never acted very lovey-dovey, the way you would expect most lovers to act. In fact, from a distance, you would wonder if they were lovers at all. Both he and Nowaki were almost always buried and consumed in their work, and it seemed that lately nowadays they were spending even less time together. But Hiroki was fully aware that this wasn't the only issue, but another huge part was mainly due to his damned pride. Sucking on his cut, he let his thoughts return to Nowaki completely. His sea blue eyes, the shade of sapphires. His kind smile, his soft loving voice, mis long raven black hair...now that he thought about it, Nowaki really was quite handsome. Any girl would probably kill to date him, if he weren't with Hiroki. (And if he was straight.) 

Then Hiroki, without thinking, hurriedly checked his cell phone messages. Nothing. 

"Geez," Hiroki grumbled. "He could have at least left me a message...dosen't he think I'd worry if I didn't know he was working late? 

Then, something else struck him, like a bolt from the blue. 

"He does...dosen't he?" 

Hiroki began to wonder; he would think about this sometimes; how he was normally so cold and stiff towards Nowaki, even though they were supposed to be lovers. Hiroki's pride was unshakable; almost acting as a barrier between the two of them, preventing his true feelings from revealing themselves. He wasn't aware of it most of the time; it was just the way he was. 

"I guess...with the way I act towards him...maybe he really dosen't think I worry..." This thought becoming voiced, Hiroki's heart began to pound. That, and also, a memory resurfaced from the deep and clouded haze of his mind, flooding back and replaying itself before his eyes. 

The Library. 

"I love you...I love you...I love you dammit! 

Is it so wrong to love you?" 

Nowaki had held him that night...so close...and he'd held him back. That night, not even his damned pride would let him conceal his feelings. Niether of them hid anything that night,  
Words. Confession. Love. Sweat. Tears. All was shared on that one, sweet, night. 

"Theres no one in this world I could ever love more than I love you." 

Nowaki had told him this; sincerely, lovingly. The words anyone would long to hear from the one they loved, but ever since that night, and even since Nowaki and he had moved into their new apartment, life had never been busier or more hectic for the both of them. Hiroki was becoming even busier with his goal to become an independent, rather than associate proffesor of Literature, and Nowaki was studying hard to become a Peditrician at the local children's hospital. Hiroki had never had any intention to interfere with Nowaki's work, but there were still often days where they would barely even speak to each other, simply because they were each so engrossed in their work they had not time. 

"I really am a sorry excuse for a lover, aren't I?" Hiroki whispered to no one, tasting the salty warmth of the blood. (How deep was that cut anyway?) 

"But Nowaki...he should know that I care for him...right?" 

"He's got to know how much I..." 

Hiroki closed his eyes, before the tears could surface. 

"No...don't start...no starrt crying...you moron! Nowaki loves you! He would never have second thought...never...!" Hiroki thought frantically, almost helplessly. 

"I'm so stupid..." He muttered. "How far the greta 'Kamijou the devil' has fallen...crying over his lover..like some baby..." 

Hiroki looked down and realized with a start that his finger was still bleeding in a steady rush, and it had been over a half hour. The cut was a lot deeper than he'd expected. He took his tissue and pressed it back to the wound, in a feeble rattempt to stop the bleeding.  
Tears now flowed in a steady stream down his cheeks, Hiroki gasped, and tryed to blink them away, but they continued to flow, beyond his control. His vision blurred and unblurred over and over. With his free hand he wiped them away and tried to dry his cheeks. 

"Nowaki might come home soon." He thought desperately. "I can't let him see me like this..."  
Just then, Hiroki heard a faint noise which made his heart stop;a key, entering a lock, then the creaking of the front door. 

Then a voice, whispering. 

"Hiro-san? Are you awake? I'm home!" 

"N-Nowaki!" Hiroki cried inside his mind. Then, he scrambled to yank to bedsheets over his head. "I-I can't let him see me like this...he'll...he'll think I'm...weak..." 

"He'll think I'm cold weak." 

"Hiro-san?" Nowaki called once more in a gentle, kindly voice. "Are you asleep?"  
Hiroki listened as he quietly stepped into the bedroom; his footsteps falling in rythmn across the wood floor; he hadn't taken off his shoes yet. He crossed the room; to the bed, 

"Hiro-san?" 

At the sound of his voice so close by, Hiroki eyes once more unwillingly filled to the brim with tears. He had been crying so much his eyes were now sore, and probably puffy and red beyond denial. His heart pounded in his ears, and his growing feeling of anxiousness reached its peak as he felt Nowaki sit on the edge of the bed. He covered his face with his hands, trying even further to conceal his hot, flowing tears, which leakied through his fingers. Nowaki would think him pathetic. Why could'nt he stop crying like this?  
He heard Nowaki's voice again. 

"Hiro-san...must have fallen asleep...but the light is on..." Hiroki then felt a large, warm hand on his shoulder. More tears fell, but he forced himself to speak, struggling to keep his voice steady. 

"No..I'm...awake..." Even he could hear the tremble in his voice, but he prayed Nowaki was too tired to notice. "You didn't tell me you were coming home so late."  
"I'm sorry." Nowaki whispered gently, lying next to him. "I completely forgot. Are you angry?" 

"No..its okay..." Hiroki answered meekly. 'Why are you talking to me like that?' He wondered suddenly. 'I don't deserve your kindness...you know that...' 

"Hiro-san." Nowaki said, stroking his shoulder in a motion that made Hiroki shiver with pleasure. "I'll tell you next time...okay? Please forgive me...I see your tired now. I'll go inside and leave you alone. I'm not going to bed yet." He paused, then spoke again, so softly it made Hiroki cry more. 

"Can you look at me so I can kiss you good-night?" 

Hiroki froze; his heart melted at the thought of one of Nowaki's sweet kisses. Of his warm, welcoming embrace. He craved it so bad. He needed it, and even more he needed to tell

Nowaki how much he meant to him. He wanted to swallow his pride and hold him; hear

Nowaki's soothing voice whisper into his ear...soft...gentle... 

'But I can't let him see me crying!' Hiroki screamed inside his mind. 'He'll wonder why...andwhat would I say? How can I ever come out and say its becasue I'm afraid he dosen't think I care! My pride will be shattered to bits!" 

"Hiro-san?" 

'Stop calling my name in that voice dammit! I don't want you to see me like this!" 

Then he heard Nowaki sigh. 

"All right then, If you don't want to, then good-night...Hiro-san..." 

"NO! WAIT!" Hiroki could'nt suppress the cry. He emerged from beneath the covers before he could stop himself, leaving his face exposed. Nowaki gasped at the sight of Hiroki's red, swollen eyes, and his cheeks were marked by dried tears. 

"Hiro-Hiro-san!" Nowaki exclaimed.; "Have you been...crying?" 

Upon hearing this, Hiroki's eyes filled up once more. He hid his face once again in his hands.

"No..its nothing...Nowaki...I was just a little upset...thats all..." 

About what? Tell me Hiro-san! If I knew, maybe I could help!" 

"WHY? WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE! WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO DESERVE YOUR CONCERN? WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE?" The words came spilling, one after the other, from Hiroki's lips, and before he knew it, what remianed of his pride...shattered. 

"H-Hiro-san." Nowaki stammered, and Hiroki could'nt help but notice the hurt in his voice.

"What on earth are you talking about? Why would'nt I care...you mean the world to me...Hiro-san..." 

Hiroki sighed, he just didn't understand, leaning forward, ignoring his pride, he let himself sink against Nowaki, burying his face in his shoulder, craving his warmth, his voice. "I'm...sorry..." 

Then, Nowaki noticed his finger. "Hiro-san! What happened to your hand? Its bleeding!" A pause, then arms curved around him, pulling him in. "Oh Hiro-san..is that why you were crying?" 

I-Idiot!" Hiroki cried. "Why would I cry over that!" 

Nowaki then laughed softly. "Ha. Now that sounds like my Hiro-san..." He swhispered, gently taking Hiroki's hand. Hiroki blushed, but didn;t respond. "Oh Hiro-san...how did this happen?"

He asked, his voice full of sympathy, as he inspected Hiroki's bleeding finger. Lost in his concern, he seemed to have forgotten Hiroki's previous outburst. 

"Oh Hiro-san...this cut looks bad...I'll go get a bandage for you." He began to get up, slowly letting go of Hiroki's hand, but Hiroki, in a sudden mindless burst of panic, grabbed Nowaki's hand as he got up. Nowaki gasped softly, and turned back to Hiroki. 

"Hiro-Hiro-san?"

Oh God how Hiroki loathed himself. He would never let himself live this down. He knew that much, but for some reason, he just could'nt watch Nowaki leave that night, no matter how badly his pride was hurt.

"D...don't go. I mean...I...I think it's stopped already."

Nowaki looked confused, but then smiled warmly and kissed Hiroki's forehead. He took hold of his hand again and settled down next to his beloved. Hiroki blushed furiously, but still tried to regain himself.

"Oh, Hiro-san. You are so cute."

"Sh-shut up." Hiroki was hoping Nowaki had forgotten about the real reason why he had been crying, but apparently he hadn't. Nowaki brushed a few stray tears away with his hands and held Nowaki against him. "You sure you're okay right?"

Hiroki gave up, deciding it wasn't worth it to burden Nowaki for his own sake. He nodded slowly, and only paused a brief moment before murmuring. "Hey, Nowaki? I...I love you."

Nowaki gave a ligth gasp of surprise, and then his expression melted into one of true warmth and love. He snuggled up closer to Hiroki under the sheets, and breathed in his delicious scent.

"Oh Hiro-san...I love you too..."

Hiroki sighed, not being able to think of a more heavenly place to be than inside Nowaki's loving embrace. 


End file.
